I would be more than happy to discuss those personal issues in more detail later, but for now I thought I might share with you the way my banning was handled and posted:

http://www.wynnwoods.com/banned.htm

And if you want to doubt me, here is the link to the original thread:

http://www.baexpats.com/index.php?module=phpwsbb&PHPWSBB_MAN_OP=view&PHPWS_MAN_ITEMS=1944

And here is the threat of lawyers:

http://www.baexpats.com/index.php?module=phpwsbb&PHPWSBB_MAN_OP=view&PHPWS_MAN_ITEMS=1987#9459

So, in the end I leave it up to you to figure it all out.

From this posting it appears that Baexpats.com is a for profit site that seems to consist of a) people trying to make a profit from it, b) expats who’ve been here awhile who seem to be elitest and negative and c) people who are new to buenos aires and the forum and are interested in meeting other expats. It seems to me that after awhile group c tends to drift off and actually find friends or joins group b and becomes bitter while avoiding integration.

I’m not sure if their terms of service are standard fair but, to paraphrase a high school teacher of mine, my blog is a benevolent dictatorship. In fact, if you make really good comments, I’ll just make it look like I posted it.

I would LOVE to hear about the private matters that got you kicked off the forum. THAT is far more interesting than baexpats for sure. Perhaps you will post it on your new forum.

That and I still want to know how Igor chooses books…

So, you might ask about my own agenda. I might be said to appear to be a disgruntled former member of the site. I would say no to all that. I loved the forum and the people there and attended many of their dinners. One of the site administrators was concerned about some private matters regarding me and I was tossed from the site. No big deal. As the Beatles say “Obladi oblada life goes on”……….

We have started a new online forum and informational site here in Buenos Aires and I must say that while we are less than two weeks old now, we are having a fabulous and fun time. And everyone is welcome and treated with open ……. well open keyboards I suppose. And I too was a D&D player back in the day.

Wow, I didn’t expect to see so many comments here after a couple of days. I have spoken with Igor in the past as well and seemed like a nice guy. Your concern is a valid one though. It is very easy for people to reach out and be mean and if we just let them do it they will go and try not to miss a single opportunity to be mean to someone.

I am a moderator at a yahoo group called banewcomers and I see that sort of thing once in a while. As soon as I see someone getting out of hand I do jump in. Luckily, it does not happen so often. In fact, the last time that happened led me to Igor and his http://www.indextar.com site. Igor did react responsibly to my request. Unfortunately that little troublemaker has reappeared on Igor’s site, but the key word here is “little” so I am now pretty much ignoring him (the troublemaker not Igor).

It is very childish and very school like…..and when I read posts like that I just feel sorry for that person if that´s all they´ve got in life to do.

And yes as an expat over here with an Argentine boyfriend it is hard to meet others if you are not on the backpacker/party scene and any form off getting people together from all sorts of backgrounds…to do something you enjoy?? Where is the harm?

Lol..sorry I knew you weren´t insinuating that everybody on the site is the same. I guess I can let certaing things just go over my head, but somebody else may take things to heart and or be put off by Bs As. You are right, its not nice.

You should definetly check out the bra forum if you are thinking of buying one soon???? hahahahah

Thanks for your reading and your compassion. It’s taken me quite a long time here to finally get around to playing to my strengths and not my weaknesses. I’m finally searching out fellow creative types.

There is almost an innocence about this rudeness that reminds me of something I’d expect to see in high school (or even junior high). The jerk probably doesn’t even know how other people perceive him, he/she probably thinks it’s funny. But the rudeness happens all over and isn’t particularly interesting What I thought might be interesting is that maybe there is a sense of what’s cool and what’s not among expats. Maybe there’s an inner circle of cool kids and the newcomers who ask “silly” questions about safety and role playing games. I was surprised because it’s essentially an expat support site and here’s this person not being particularly supportive.

I hope I didn’t give the impression that everyone on this site is mean or anything. I didn’t get a chance to check out the bra forum but maybe I should…

I too am new to the expats site as of yesterday.

If you read some of the other forums that particular person has been chastised for some of his other posts. Which generally follow the same tone.

I have no idea why but sometimes on these things people feel the need to contradict somebody elses opinion without sitting back and accepting that everybody is different and to live and let live. Especially about a topic like D&D.

Having said that I chatted to some cool people yesterday and some of the posts in the womens forum (bras) helped me a lot!!!!

Joanne

Let me also clarify. Like in all forums, no one can take responsibility for what other people choose to say. Communities can have complicated social dynamics and it can be difficult to foster healthy ones. As you said earlier today, some people take the moment to vent their frustrations.

However, let me just say I was surprised that no one in the community chastised this established member for just being an outright jerk to a newcomer. This was the first post I read on your forum and I was very surprised at the tone. It is very intimidating to be a first time user and criticize someone with 204 posts.

I’m very interested in your reaction to the D&D post and if you consider it an acceptable tone for your site. I’m not saying that you censor things, but it raises the issue of examples set from above. Instead of censoring you could simply say to the offending party: “Hey, _____ don’t use that tone here.” Or something like that to let people know that it’s not nice. I’m not saying you have to micromanage relationships either but if stuff like this is going on, it IS your business and it reflects very badly on the site if the problem isn’t solved.

I’m not sure why this is such a polarized issue. It sounds like you’re happy with the site the way it is. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. To what everyone has written.

PS: I still am very interested in how you choose what books to read.